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View Full Version : Craigslist Comedy Gold!


JonathonBarton
02-11-2008, 09:38 AM
http://seattle.craigslist.org/est/car/508634986.html

Quoted below in case the ad gets taken down.

Volvo 850 type R Yo! 850R ....Wat? PRICE LOWRD! - $3800



You know what they say, “If it ain’t a type R, it ain’t a tight car!” -Benjamin Franklin (impressive!!!)

1996 Volvo 850R-white with cream interior made from the beasts of Europe…prime panda scheme candidate.

Price:$$$$ALL YOUR BASE or 3800 dollars American Wtfbbqlinebreak

This baby is at 218 thousand miles now, and increasingly more miles are being driven in sport mode. (was 30k, but now its more, obviously)

Hokay, so, don’t call asking about miles, because its in the ad, comments like “oh, well the miles are kinda high” will not be tolerated. This Volvo will smoke the doors off of e30 m3’s in econ mode and will blow a passenger door off of e46’s from a 60 roll, cause this thing is a highway monster. You’ll surely be the king of streets, (no king status if your streets are run by Tokyo drifters, this is fwd)

If you want a fast car that is safe for your offspring choose this vehicle. You wife will love all the creature comforts but have no idea that the turbo 5cyl (wtf sweedes!??) is actually a large montana ranch that keeps over 240 horses.

Have you ever been to sea-fair and seen the Blue angels fly by? That is what this bad boy sounds like once you hit full boost and wastegates like whoa open up! I love this car, and have been commuting in it for a long time, but I am sick and tired of getting hit on by milfs in their sexual prime because they think I’m some suave interwebs mogul as I am rearranging my golf clubs to fit more groceries in the massive trunk (yes, you could fit a bike in it). It can also fit at least 2 red haired persons <150 lbs

This car has 218k miles, Wat? 218k miles 218k miles 218k miles 218k miles 218k miles 218k miles 218k miles.

Do not call asking about miles, it is stated in this ad like 9 times (less than last time), If you don’t know that Volvos go to like half a million miles without maintenance than your personal savior must be modern medicine and your ignorance would have been the death of you in the middle ages. DO not call if this is you.

Although the miles seem high there is very little wrong, the work has been done by a DSM driver of who’s DSM still runs, which speaks volumes more than some silly ASE certification. The marvelous Swedes designed this car, supposedly Volvos are born from space shuttles, which make them a little bit better than their retarded cousin the Saab (which was only born from jets ) I would not recommend buying this vehicle for ghostriding purposes.

Right now it has some sort of kuhmo tires, probably all seasons, which are siped for uber traction. I took out the front tweeters and put in better door speakers cause Volvo sucks at making speakers. I highly recommend coming to look at the car before you decide to lowball the crap out of me. So, I’m not gonna say OBO, cause maybe I’m not OBO, but maybe I’m thinking OBO, but who knows. This car is rad, but speaking of rads, the radiator has a freaking leak and I don’t want to spend 200 bucks to get a new one. It will for sure drive to seattle without the coolant res low light coming on. Did it last weekend.

delirium45
02-11-2008, 11:31 AM
Effing awesome write-up.

geoffbp58
02-11-2008, 12:03 PM
Hmmmm. I'd be interested. How many miles are on it?

cojsl
02-11-2008, 12:12 PM
I think the miles are kinda high :D

Goku
02-11-2008, 05:19 PM
That was awesome! Retarded cousin sabb! I love it

mdahl
02-26-2008, 11:24 AM
The marvelous Swedes designed this car, supposedly Volvos are born from space shuttles, which make them a little bit better than their retarded cousin the Saab (which was only born from jets )

Being a one time Saab pilot, I have to say I am frightened of the concept of taking a saab "off-ground". Granted, I have it done or twice (in sport mode) but falling from 2-3 inches was A-OK with the CEL illuminated or not.
At Mach two and 30,000 feet the last thing I'd like to see is:

Ding-ding.. "lystmäte glimten vätska , spilta. område säker. falskärm y/n"
"fill blinker fluid, stall. ya sure. parachute? y/n"

Course you'd only be able to read half of it, because the SID would missing most of it's pixels.
I'm sure it's a similar feeling to running Vista on the Space Shuttle.




^^^ awesome CL find. It made me feel like I was reading off-topic at Nasioc.